Our Minyan had a wonderful experience the other evening.  There was a family program in our Synagogue which ended just prior to our evening Minyan.  There were many families who attended this wonderful program.  As I was coming in to set up the Minyan room vehicles were leaving the Synagogue parking lot.  One family however came into the Minyan room.  They wanted to make sure that there would be a Minyan as the roads were once again covered in a little snow and ice.  This family has two children, one recently Bar Mitzvah and the younger still a couple of years away. 

 

What I found inspiring was the younger child asked why they had to stay, and the father noted that it was important to make sure that there would be a Minyan of 10 adults for those who need to say Mourner’s Kaddish.  They were already at the Synagogue, and instead of leaving like the other families, they felt it would be a priority to help make the Minyan. 

 

Today, families find themselves torn in different directions.  What once was a priority no longer is seen as important. When I grew up the Synagogue was an important part of my life.  Families made it a priority not only to belong to a Synagogue and train for Bar/Bat Mitzvah, but to be the center of their Jewish lives.  My Synagogue was a bustle of activity with young families abound, children in the halls, not just for Religious School or tutoring, but for youth events, for concerts, or even just to hang out with the Rabbi and the Cantor.  We wanted to be there.  Not because our generation was extremely religious, but because it was our Synagogue.  It was our second home, a place where we were comfortable. 

 

This comfortable feeling we had for our Synagogue, and our Clergy, was created by our parents who made it a priority to bring us to Religious School, to get us involved with youth groups, to secure in us, the next generation, a strong Jewish identity.  It does not mean that every one of us became Rabbis, Cantors, or Jewish leaders.  What it did was pass down to us, the next generation, those Jewish values which defined us as American Jews.  Though it must not have been easy for our parents to run us to these events at our Synagogue, they felt it important that those values, those traditions, that sense of Jewish self and confidence, be passed on to our generation, L’Dor Vador (Generation to generation). 

 

So what has happened?  Why have the Synagogues, and that strong sense of Judaism become less of a priority?  Where has the succeeding generations of parents failed and where has our movement failed?  These are questions that I am sure others have better answers, or maybe they do not. 

 

This family I speak about above is very much like my family.  Their Synagogue, their Jewish identity, their Jewish values are important, and they pass those values to their children.  They are not extremely religious however the Synagogue is a large part of their lives.  They encourage their older child to be active in the youth programming in the Synagogue, to be active in reading the Torah on Shabbat as part of the Synagogue’s Yad Squad.  They also encourage him to continue to lead services with me when there is no Bar/Bat Mitzvah being celebrated.  This is one family – and I can say that there are others in my Synagogue who share this value.

 

The Jewish identity of our children, of the future generation, starts at the home.  It is not just the responsibility of one parent, but both parents.  Parents should be living by example, making the Synagogue a center of their lives.  In today’s world, with the Internet making the world smaller, with other organizations out there vying for our support, our attention, our time, it makes it that much harder.  However for the next generation to have that connection with the Synagogue, that connection with their Jewish identity, families need to lead by example. 

 

Another issue is even more troubling.  Many Synagogues over the last decade have cut the time of Religious School.  When I was younger my Religious School was three afternoons a week, Shabbat attendance (Friday night and Saturday morning), and Sunday mornings.  However today, families find themselves torn in many different directions.  Instead of standing ground and having our children make the Synagogue the center, we split everything.  Today, if Synagogues do not adjust the amount of time and days that students need to attend Synagogue, families go somewhere else that gives less. 

 

The Synagogues, to keep membership happy, change their programs to fewer days, less attendance at Shabbat, and less learning.  Then when a child comes up for Bar/Bat Mitzvah and they struggle with the Hebrew, they struggle with the Judaic concepts, and the Synagogue gets the blame.  The troubling aspect in this goes with the fact that it was the families which insist on fewer days, less learning, less time, however they are expecting their children to be as knowledgeable as they were when they went three days a week, plus Sunday mornings, plus more Shabbat attendance.  Even in our technologically advanced society that can-not work.  It is a recipe for mediocrity. 

 

So how do we, as leaders in the Jewish Community, as parents raising our children in this modern age, how do we solve this dilemma?  Is there an easy fix?  Can we just go back to the old ways or should we look for more advanced ways to make the Synagogue, and L’Dor Vador, once again, the center of Jewish Life?  These are questions which we need to ask ourselves, not only as leaders of the Jewish Community, but as Jewish Parents. 

 

Generations from now, if we keep on this track, will the Synagogues only be Museums?  Places people attend on a school trip as an anachronism, a thing of the past.  Is that what we want for our children, and their children, and generations beyond?  Or do we want to pass down our wonderful rich heritage of a full and rich Jewish life which goes hand in hand with our modern, ever changing world? 

 

Make the Synagogue a priority, have your children, your grandchildren, get to know their Rabbi and Cantor.  Have them come to services and participate.  Have them attend their Religious School.  Go to Jewish Museums; take them on trips to Israel.  Celebrate the holidays as if they were each not only special, but life growing experiences for our children.  L’Dor Vador – keep the flame going, don’t let the light go out (as stated in Peter Yarrow’s wonderful song).  Not only as leaders, but as parents, let us work together to bring our wonderful culture, our values, our beliefs, to being number one in our lives.  Not only as something for our children, but for ourselves.